How a boy becomes a man...

Nik's visit was a couple of months ago, now, but I still can't get over how much my little boy has grown up. I KNOW he's sixteen. I KNOW he's got 2 years of high school left before entering the big grown-up world but I can't BELIEVE it. Until this Summer. Allow me to illustrate. I was driving Nik and his cousin, Brandon, home from Mesa when the tire blew on the car. Luckily, we were nearly at the end of the off ramp (Prince Rd.) heading into Tucson. When I say "blew" I meant it shredded. I, of course, was completely beside myself. I learned how to change a tire when I was a sixteen year old in driver's ed. That was *cough* a little while ago and rather than risk making my situation worse, I called my wonderful husband and asked him to ride to my rescue. True to form, he promised me that he was on his way (Reilly being watched by the adorable neighbor girls with whom she's formed a mutual admiration society) and I set out to wait for my rescuer. That is precisely when I was notified that my rescuers where already there. Nik gave me a very typical teenage boy sigh and casually asked me to "pop the trunk." Brandon was right behind him when he exited the car. A lot is going through my mind here. "Can the eternally 5 year old boy in my head change a tire? What if he hurts himself? I should really give him the chance if he wants to try. Maybe I should wait for Eric. I can't coddle him forever!" And on. And on. Then I notice that he's already got the tools out of the trunk and the spare tire to boot. I decide to get out and watch. They are pros. Both of them. They get the lug nuts off in a flash and even remember to get a towel out of the trunk to grab them with because they are searing hot (I'm ashamed to admit that I wouldn't have thought of it until AFTER I burned my hand). The old tire comes off, the new one on. Lug nuts replaced and tire and tools being loaded as my husband arrives on the scene. Am I flabbergasted? Yes. Am I amazed? Yes. Am I feeling somewhat stupid because I belatedly realize that they've been discussing cars for the better part of the ride home and I hadn't noticed how much they know about CARS?! Yes. But most importantly,...am I proud? YOU BET. I'm having an epiphany. My SON and my NEPHEW have rescued me. ME! Their mother and Aunt. They are no longer boys in my mind but rather young men. When did they grow up and learn how to change tires and remain un-phased by imminent disaster? When did they learn how to put MY mind at ease and tell me that it's "going to be alright?" In short, when did they begin to grow up? I don't know. Some would say it started the day I first gazed into his sweet little face. Some will say that a lot happens to a boy between the ages of 15 and 18. It's hard for me to tell because these last few years I have loaded a 13 year old on a plane and gotten a 14 year old back. Every time he comes back I see the little and not-so-little changes. He is taller. His shoulders are broader. His voice is deeper. He is better at hiding his feelings when he wants to. He is more tuned in to the feelings of others and more willing to sacrifice his own wants for the good of another. It is hard to look through "mother eyes" and see my baby boy as a grown man. I want to hang on to my memories of when he was all mine and needed me and I was the center of his world. It is hard to admit that his world is growing and includes people I don't know and places I haven't been. It is hard to let go and let him make choices. But I must and I do. Because I love him. My fear is that my baby bird will leave the nest and I haven't taught him properly how to fly. This Summer showed me that he had wings and could fly before I was ready to let him try. How ironic! Isn't it funny and wonderful how such little mundane things, like having your tire changed by your teenage son, make the world look so different all of a sudden? Wow.